Responsible
by LilyBolt
Summary: He bowed his head and prayed softly to the friend who betrayed him, but saved him in the end, as he always had... A oneshot from Dean's POV, taking place maybe a day or two after 8X17 (Goodbye Stranger). Not a slash fiction.


**Author's Note: This is a brief OneShot taking place maybe a day or two after 8X17 (Goodbye Stranger). Reviews are always welcome! **

**Disclaimer: I don't appear to own Supernatural or its characters, even though I wished upon a star... :) **

Responsible

Dean sat in his room in the Batcave quietly praying to an old friend. He knew he should be glad Cas had disappeared again. After all, what had the angel done recently that would be classified as good? He had come back from Purgatory, promptly been messed up by this Naomi chick, and proceeded to manipulate Dean into helping him locate the Angel Tablet. Then he beat the crap out of Dean, grabbed the tablet, and took off. So why should Dean care if Castiel was ok? Why should Dean worry about his friend, when his friend had caused him so much pain…

Because Dean felt responsible. Dean couldn't help but see how Castiel's mistakes never would have happened if he had tried harder to stop him. If Dean had been a more attentive friend, maybe he could've convinced Cas not to crack open Purgatory in the first place. But it was more than just that. Cas would've been better off if he had never met Dean. Dean had felt responsible for all of Cas's stumbles since the angel 'gripped him tight and raised him from perdition'.

Because Dean knew what Cas had suffered through for him. He had braved Hell to save Dean's soul, and in return, Dean had bombarded him constantly with demands. Whenever the going got too tough, he called on his feathered friend to help save the day. Maybe Hester had been right when she had said Cas was damned the minute he laid a hand on Dean in Hell. Cas had literally fallen for Dean, died for Dean, and saved Dean's life more times than he wanted to count. Yet Dean always asked for more. And Cas always gave it.

So when Castiel went crazy and started pounding his face in, Dean hadn't felt anger. He felt sadness and guilt. Because he had let his friend down again. He hadn't paid attention to the signs that Cas was in trouble, again. He had let things go too far, and maybe this time Cas couldn't just bounce back from it all. Maybe Castiel had lost himself for good, and it would be Dean's fault for not having tried harder. For having asked too much and given too little in return.

When Dean had told Cas to stop. Told him that he was family and that Dean needed him, he was being completely honest. Cas was like another brother to Dean, and Dean needed for Cas to be alright. He needed for him to bounce back, because otherwise Dean wouldhave no one to blame but himself. And Dean couldn't bear to have caused yet another brother so much trouble. So now, as Dean sat alone in his room, he bowed his head and prayed softly to the friend who betrayed him, but saved him in the end, as he always had.

"Cas." He whispered. "I don't know where you are or what you're doing. I just want you to know, I'm sorry. I let you down again. I should've seen you needed help, but I didn't see it. I didn't help. I'm not mad, I'm worried. I want you to know I'm ready to help now. Anything you need, I'm right here. Tablet, no tablet, whatever. I don't care about that right now. I just want to know you're alright. I owe you at least that much man. Because I meant it when I said you're family. Although I have a pretty solid track record for letting my family down, I still want to try. Just please, take care of yourself. Better yet, get your ass down here and let Sam and I take care of you! But I know you won't. Can't. Won't? I don't know. Just, be safe, ok? Please be safe Cas." And with that, Dean lay back on his bed, and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Miles away at a bus station, a tired looking man stood in a worn out overcoat and tilted his head to the side, as if straining to hear something. The man's eyes seemed to fill with regret and sadness before a melancholy smile played across his face. "Be safe as well Dean." The man muttered softly, before settling down with his backpack to wait for the next bus.


End file.
